FITZY’S WICKED PISSAH “THIS ONE GOES to $11” BLACK FRIDAY SALE IS ON!!!
OK you humps - in celebration of the Pats megathunder-uber-super asswhooping and certifiably inhumane Thanksgiving night hogtying of the J-E-S-T, it’s time to keep the Patsparty going. And I can’t think of any better way to make that happen on our end than with our annual supah-sale.
That’s right - for one day only - all shirts are $11 or under! So if you’ve been thinking of getting one or four for yourself. Or getting a shit ton of them for office pals, Pats fan friends and family. Then this is your jam. $11 for some fine ass Gronktastic, Bradyriffic garb that the kids just love.
Are we above getting involved in the shameless retail shitshow of Black Friday? Nope! And best yet we show enough restraint to not promote until after the Pats win AND on Friday, no less (people that go shopping for “Black Friday Week” stuff on Thursday night and miss family time or the Pats dickpunching of the Jets deserve to have Mark Sanchez throw them a wet towel when their ass is on fire). So head over to store.townienews.com now and stuff your sports closet or stuff some stockings the same way you did earlier with your face, and the Pats did with the Jets. Get in on our one day wicked pissah Black Friday sale. We ever made a “Spinal Tap” reference, for crissakes! Get some swag! Happy Thanksgivings! GFY! And whadda win, Pats!